The Boats and Picnics Club
From Wooo!pedia
| The Boats and Picnics Club | |
|---|---|
| Navis es Haud Diversus quam Foras Epulor | |
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| Date Founded: | March 1, 1887 |
| Type: | Boat and Picnic fans |
| Location: | Brisbee Patch, Yarn Island |
| Membership type: | Free to all humans, animals, ghosts |
| Current President: | Evan Steele |
The Boats and Picnic Club is a pretty big deal around Brisbee Patch. It is a respected organization founded on the fundamental concept that there is no difference at all between a boat and a picnic. None. They are quite popular among the people of Yarn Island, because who doesn't like going on picnics and boats?
The Boats and Picnics Club is highly recognized as pioneering the concept of bringing a tiny picnic basket to picnics so that the ants can have some too, which at the time was a major step forward for ants at picnics that civil rights leaders still speak of regularly.
Their motto, translated from it's original Latin, means Boats are No Different than Outdoor Banquets.
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Gala Fundraiser Festival Concert Party
The GFFCP is the one time of the year (up until recently) that the general public was allowed into Brisbee Patch. It is held every year in the spring, although the exact date depends on the weather. It's a big party! It goes on for up to a week. A lot of the time the entire population of the island is all at one huge picnic.
There's hella boats of all kinds: little rowboats, speedboats, yachts, sailboats, a couple cruise ships, and even an old eighteenth century British frigate that has been historically restored! People party on the boats and have races and do tricks; and there are always lots of lifeguard boats zipping around, fishing people out of the water and teaching kids to swim. Fishing boats are allowed, but they only fish jerky fish, like Tuna and Mahi Mahi, because, really, nobody likes them.
The talking dolphins come too, and are the life of the party—not that it needs more life! The picnics are amazing: every meal is a picnic, and all kinds of foods get eaten. There are huge Thanksgiving-style feasts and all sorts of super colorful fruits on peoples hands and faces and clothes, and tasty sandwiches that can be tiny little tea sandwiches or the legendary 17 foot subs and anything in between. All the animals come too, and have their own feasts and picnics and stuff. Then every night there is a concert with local bands! Mostly they are good, but even if they aren't people are nice and clap, because they know then next year they'll be better! They don't go too late because there are kids who have to go to sleep and they don't want to leave them out of the fun. In the past there was a fundraiser, but now nobody on Yarn Island needs help so they just ask people to donate to the Red Cross, but everyone does that anyways so it's all good.
Historical Misunderstandings
There have been times throughout the years when notable dignitaries visiting Yarn Island during the week of the GFFCP have assumed that the Boats and Picnics Club holds picnics physically on the boats themselves, and it should be noted that this is not the case; the Boats and Picnics Club is founded on the idea that both boats and picnics are in fact the so similar in concept that there is no need, and should be no want, to combine them.
One of the most publicized cases of this occurring was in 1945, when the then Club President, Thomas Gaunt, invited the American President Theodore Roosevelt to attend the celebrations. Roosevelt very foolishly attempted to carry with him a picnic basket onto a rowboat, and was shocked when the giraffe piloting it told him to get off. An argument erupted, in which Roosevelt was heard to famously bellow, "Is this the Boats and Picnics Club or the Association of Pedants!" causing the citizens of Yarn Island to ask him to leave the GFFCP. In retrospect, it is clear that Roosevelt should have been forgiven on the basis that he had been dead 26 years at the time, and was probably a bit more prone to being rash as a result.
Notable Club Presidents
Presidents typically preside for a year, though some have served consecutive years, and don't actually do anything major. Usually they help plan the GFFCP, but since everyone is so excited they pretty much do it themselves.
1800s
- 1887: Delilah Trickledew, founder of the Boats and Picnics Club
- 1893: Gilda von Trattlestein, inventor of candy
1900s
- 1911: Amanda Cunningwood, who served tea cakes to the ghosts of the victims of the sunken ship The Titanic
- 1923: Jack Spade, who is credited with inventing the modern deck of playing cards during an especially boring GFFCP, thereby saving the festival
- 1930: Humbert Humbert, who is notorious for suggesting the festivities end early each night so that children are not left out of them
- 1935: Marilyn Monroe, who became President at age 9, before she later moved on to a career in film
- 1941: Admiral West, who is to date the only airplane ever to be President of the Club
- 1945: Thomas Gaunt, who hosted the GFFCP that Theodore Roosevelt was famously removed from
- 1952: Casper, the friendly ghost, who was the first ghost President
- 1960: Chauncey Price, the only President to appoint robins to his secretarial staff
- 1970: Nina de la Tour, who danced on top of the sea for the full week of the GFFCP
- 1972: Frederique Perrey, the first President to breathe underwater by accident
- 1979: Lionel Star, the only President to date who was a lion
- 1988: Steven Patrick Morrissey, of The Smiths fame
- 1996: Jacqueline Jacqueline, the a pair of identical twins noted for being the first "Presidential Pair"
- 1999: Will Smith, who held a second GFFCP on December 31 to promote his new single, Will2K
2000s
- 2002: Albus Dumbledore, who presided from one of the many paintings of him
- 2004: Dana Price, the first President who was also a superhero
- 2008: Evan Steele, the first non-native President of the Club
